there are so many reasons not to go somewhere

There are so many reasons not to go somewhere.  Being in public places, at parties, in other people’s homes is a big deal.  It’s vulnerable, energy draining, and potentially overwhelming.

Going somewhere means so much preparation and days of recovery.  Unknowns are hard, going to a new venue, and not having control over the sensory input or social expectations.

Receiving information beforehand can help.  But the truth is, people are usually not aware of the types of information that we need.  Or we can show up ready for one thing and encounter another.  Plans change.  Events are collaborative, so one person might be willing to communicate, but other people didn’t get the memo of what was agreed upon.  An incorrect prediction can be worse than no prediction at all.

Travel with autism is difficult, with countless details to track.  There are so many reasons not to go somewhere, but there are also many reasons to try if we think it will be worth it.  Friendship, love, and community matter.

questions

Here are some examples of useful information about an event that can help us decide whether we want to go, and help us prepare.

• How many people will be there?
• Will I know the people?
• How long is the event supposed to last?
• Indoor, outdoor?
• Is it ok for me to leave early?
• Can my spouse come?  Could I bring a close friend?
• Are my assistive devices going to help in this space?
• What are the bathrooms like?
• Will food be served?  Is it ok if I don’t eat the food?
• Is stimming ok?
• What will the noise level be?
• What will the light level be?
• Strong smells?
• What’s expected of me with participation?
• Is being quiet ok?
• Is there a lower sensory rest area?
• Will there be pets in the space?
• Is there a set format adhered to?
• Will there be cross talk and struggle for a chance to speak?
• Are there strong chairs?
• If there are stairs I need to use, is there a strong handrail?

invitation

I love being invited, even if I can’t come.  Being included and welcome feels special.

Thank you for all the ways you include disabled people.