Hello, I’ve been thinking about autism and sexuality for a long time. A friend of mine with autism mentioned she feels sorry for people who don’t have autism–because of sex. She was saying that sensory sensitivities mean some people with autism feel sexual pleasure more intensely.
Wow, yes. I’ve been told by a few folks that my sexual responses are much stronger than the responses of other people they had been in bed with. I thought it was a quirk of my biology, or maybe that particular person happened to have been with many low-response people. So I was high response in comparison.
But it makes sense that if I’m more sensitive to sound, light, motion, smells, temperature, and commonplace touch, I might be more sensitive to sexual sensations also.
good parts
Autism is seen as a tragic problem by many people. So I always love finding ways it’s good. There are three sides to every coin.* The hard parts of autism are real–disability is real. But I love being direct, playing to strengths, and dwelling in the good parts as much as I can.
Here are two articles about autism and sexuality that don’t speak directly to this topic. But they are great in different ways, and I thought you might like them.
two articles
The first is from more than ten years ago–The Science of Autism and Orgasm. I really like the part where a person with autism says how during sex, they are not sure which sensations to pay attention to. Yes, I love that observation.
In my own experience, deciding which sensations to focus on can be confusing. I’ve never heard anyone talk about that. I love hearing the thoughts of other autistic people. How exciting it is, not to feel alone.
Then this article is about the sex lives of autistic young people. It’s good to know what academics say, so I can learn their assumptions and perspectives. I like knowing what I’m up against. By that I mean–it’s an ableist world. I know myself very well. But it’s wild to see how autistic people such as myself are perceived from the outside.
abuse
Something that matters a lot when it comes to autism and sexuality is how many autistic people are abused. Because of our disabilities and how we see communication and socializing in a different way, that can leave us vulnerable to manipulation, being used, and violence. People with more power use their power to hurt people who have less. It’s everywhere.
If we autistic folx are more likely to be sexually violenced, that will affect how we do sex also. Trauma causes consequences that might not be immediately apparent.
Connecting dots about violence is important. I hope we can work on all the dysfunctions of culture and heal the pain parts of people harming one another in totally avoidable ways.
*Every coin has three sides–the two big, flat sides and then the narrow strip of the edge.
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