autism and touch

autism and touch

Hello, I was excited to read this post by one of my favorite instgrammers neurodivergent_lou.  I felt very validated to hear another autistic person talk about autism and touch.

Yes, there’s a stereotype that people with autism don’t like touch.  But issues with touch can play out in many ways.  In fact I love touch, to the point that it can derail me.  It has to be under certain conditions.

My housemate asked how I am sharing space in a kitchen.  I explained how mutual, consensual touch is great with me, like hugs and holding hands.  But being bumped makes me lose my shit.  First bump I’m sort of ok.  Second bump I freak out.  Third bump, I leave the room, never to return.  Ok, maybe I’ll return in a few days, if I have to.

Bumping the onion basket counts as a bump, strangely.  So we moved the onion basket, which I had been bumping on a daily basis.  Earthquakes count as a bump also.  Jeeze, Parent Earth!  Watch your boundaries.

eye contact

Reminds me of eye contact.  We autistic folx have a stereotype of avoiding eye contact also.  Actually I love eye contact.  I love it so much that it can be overwhelming, so I sometimes avoid it, because I want it too much.

Eye contact means a lot to me, so sometimes I can’t do it for very long.  It can be tied into trust, vulnerability, and norms.  Norms are a struggle for me to comprehend.

As for hugs and other physical contact, I would like to be hugged always, by people I trust such as my spouse Ming.  Always or never is a hard place to be.  Moderation is so confusing, to decide.

lizard need

Sometimes I wish I was a cute little lizard and could ride around on Ming‘s shoulder.  He could pat me comfortingly from time to time, and I could give him a small lizard kiss on his ear, when the spirit moved me.

This is not a very possible need.  Disability is a pain in the ass, seriously.

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