A friend who’s also neurodivergent asked me if I know how not to be anxious interacting with people. So this is the poem-list of tips that I gave to my friend.
how not to be anxious interacting with people
I limit the time I’ll spend, to keep my stress low.
tell myself, Ming, and maybe the other person
I can only do this for one hour, or half an hour.
I like to prepare beforehand–
think of some conversational topics.
maybe have something to give them, like a zine.
practice helps,
and a centering activity beforehand, or shielding.
staying grounded as I can–breathing.
i like to ask questions
that I think they would walk to talk about,
like followup questions on something that’s been going on:
school or job, housing, health.
I ask about their projects
and what they’ve been learning.
what they’re looking forward to, sometimes.
shared interests, like a certain cause.
often when Ming and I are driving somewhere
to meet someone,
we’ll talk in the car beforehand
about good topics to discuss.
we might decide what we’d like to avoid,
if there are painful or conflict topics
we don’t want to get into that day.
then I like to have a plan for afterward,
how to relax and de-stress.
sometimes a treat.
This list originally appeared in Laura-Marie’s radical mental health zine functionally ill issue 31.
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