spouse Ming wearing his blue narcolepsy shirt. Asian non-binary person squats by the street smiling. His shirt says, "Don't worry--it's just narcolepsy, and this is my normal napping position."

Hello, I wanted to clarify that the posts I made about the incident in the rose garden aren’t actually about this one incident or my one life.  I’m 45 years old, and my needs have been violated over and over again for 45 years, to the point of trauma and real lasting harm.

The rose garden experience was a recent clear example of what happens when I go out into the world.  It’s related to what happened to me at school for 20 years, and in my family when I was a baby, child, and young person.  My life is one long series of these disruptive, painful incidents that require much recovery.

And I’m one person in a world including many people who are disabled.  Our needs aren’t being met.  Abled people can tell themselves many comforting lies about why it’s ok, not to respect the needs of all.


They can say there are very few disabled people, so they don’t need to consider us.  Of course this isn’t true–if we appear few in number, that’s because we’re stuck at indoors and not enjoying much contact with the outside world.

We’re in our own homes, group homes, hospitals, assisted care facilities, psychiatric facilities, and prisons.  If we choose not to leave our homes, it’s because we’re not safe in the world.  There’s the extraordinary amount of work is takes to prepare to go out, make transportation arrangements, suffer the harm of cultures that don’t care what we need, feel pain about that, then do the hard work of recovery.

Abled people can say they never learned it was important to care for those who have needs that are different from theirs.  Of course, that’s bullshit too.  Growing up means choosing our own values, not necessarily living by the values we were handed as children.

All people who are privileged in our many ways bear the responsibility of learning about people who are less privileged.  We need to consider less privileged people in our day to day lives.  That means racially, gender-wise, with sexuality, with disabilities, with religion, with war zones, with age, with money…

Not knowing better is no excuse for hurting others.  If you’re able to work full time or student full time, probably you’re able to research and learn about people who have less than you do, and work to improve injustice.


I may be a friend or relative you love.  But I’m also an example of one disabled person in a world that has many disabled people.  Please see me and the rose garden incident, then extrapolate the suffering of many many disabled people.

I didn’t meant to explain it like it was just about me, or those party goers.  The world is full of people like me, and party goers like those.  Thank you for considering my clarification.

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